College Mom!

     Sixteen years ago I was so proud to be walking across the stage of the high school gym receiving my diploma for I wasn't sure what the future held, I just knew I was so blessed to have made it past the last four years. I wanted to find true love, have babies, and have a home of my own.  In my mind finding my love would be my future. For as young as I can remember I wanted to be a teacher!  I played school so much as a kid.  My grandparents were my best students!  I lost myself during my teen years.  I had to grow up fast once I turned 16.  I thought I held so much control of my life.
     College was something I thought only the smart kids did.  I knew my parents didn't go to college and we lived!  It wasn't until 2010, twelve years into my marriage and two children later when life hit us in a terrible way, that I then found out first hand how hard life was for my parents.  It was then when I realized that college was survival.  Kelley (my husband) worked for the prison for eleven years.  People were losing jobs, due to the economy.  In our minds, there would always be prisoners, there was no way his job would be at risk.  Kelley was the manager of the warehouse for the boot factory, where the inmates worked making boots.  The state thought it would be cheaper for them to buy boots from China, than it was to have a up running boot factory.  Kelley was laid off September 1st, 2010.  All we had ever known was gone.  Our security of health and life insurance, and retirement was gone.
     After putting our house up for sale and moving our family, five hours away for a year, our house didn't sale.  With two fallen through contracts we had enough.  So back to our home we came.  God gave us life lessons and I am not going to ever forget what they where.  Family is the most important thing to me.  No job should ever take away from what our family has created.  Our marriage was based on a family, not our income.  Having no college degree Kelley had to work nights, our kids only got to see him for about 4 hours during the week.  It made us all so sad.  I put my foot down and said "Nothing is worth time spent away from our family." With my heartbroken I knew that we had to come back to Pampa.  I never want my life in the hands of money again.  I will stand on my life's favorite scripture:

2 Corinthians 5:7

⁷ For we live by faith, not by sight.

     Two weeks ago I started my freshman year in college!! (Man that sounds so strange!) I am a mother of THREE... I am a WIFE... And  I am loving it!  I have a plan to one day have someone help clean my house, like I have helped so many do in the past eight years.  2018 will be another proud moment in my life as I walk across another stage!  This time I will have my wonderful kids watching.  I want them to know that college isn't an option.  It is the way of life and that I did it with their help!

     I have had 13 assignments, 2 quizzes, 1 project, and 1 paper already due this first 2 weeks.  Guess what?  All have been 100's except for a quiz that I made a 93 on!! I AM DOING THIS!! Better than I have ever imagined doing! Never give up!  I thought I was to old.. Nope, I am just wiser!  Time marches on, but you never lose what your mind can do!  I will be blogging a lot about my experiences, I never want to forget how special my family have been walking next to me on this road. 

How I love you!

     You hear your baby cry.  You know, that is a hurt cry... a sleepy cry.... a "I want" cry... As mothers our job is to learn our babies.  To meet their every need. You learn their likes, dislikes, bed times, eating times, all of this you do with your baby.  You both learn. They in return learn you.  They learn their bedroom.  Their home.. Their toys.. Love.. God's peace. Their safe spot in this world. 

     I don't want to write to many details in what is going on in our life, but I do want to speak our love for our sweet Adrian and his for us.  The other night he threw up in his bed.  Kelley held him as I changed the bed.  The whole time Adrian was reaching for me, crying.. All he wanted was his momma.  I laid with him until he feel asleep.  Tears fell down my face.. What would he do without me.  Without his momma.  We all know there are times as a kid and as an adult that you just want your momma.  Sure he could grow that with his biological mother.  We want that.. just not in a way of stripping him from his only safe place.

     Adrian started speech therapy this month.  He tested at an 11 month old level, he is now 17 months.  We want to help him in anyway we can.  We do not want him to be interrupted with big life changes as his little mind is learning thousands of new things a day. We do not want a back and forth, from this house to that house, life for him.. He is doing so great with his family he has grown to love.  He has changed from a baby who was pale, limp, with sores all over his body to full of life, the happiest any parent could wish for their child.

     We never want Adrian or both of our girls to grow up with a hole in their heart.  To be a parent it means to put yourself below others.  We will fight! We are parents, God called us to be!  In a perfect world Adrian would have all of those who love him available in his life without the threat to his happiness.

     Adrian, I love it when you get one of your favorite snacks and your face lights up!  I love when you grab my finger and take me to where you want to go.  I love folding your clothes, such a blessing.  I love the way you say "My Momma"!  I love that you need me and your daddy.  I love how you run to the door when we say "Daddy's home!"  I love how you reach to kiss your sisters all of the time.  I love to watch you dance.  I love to watch you sleep in my arms.  I love when you pass gas, you find it so funny at times, yet embarrassing at other times.  I love everything about you! You smile...

     No mater what our road together comes to, I want you to know that you are so loved.  You have a momma, a daddy, and two sisters that will always greet you with open arms.  You are our baby!  Our love for you the first day we meet you was something that I nor your Daddy could ever explain.  Walk on baby boy! Always keep your head up high and know you are better than anything that comes within your path.  Keep that strong will you have and use it to be wonderful! Be all you can be!  Love God with all of your heart and you will grow into a great husband and daddy your self one day!

 

IN HIS HANDS, this is how I know.

No matter how God gives you a child to raise up in love, it is a very special thing. Even though life has been crazy this week today is my day to "ENJOY" housework without any kids home, it really hurts when all they want is you.  I know minutes later they are fine, but this morning Adrian ran to the door behind me and when I got to the car I felt so blessed and happy that I am his momma!  We take for granted a lot of things, such as moments like this.  God would and will always take care of Adrian, but how would he be without me, without his Daddy, without his two sisters he is in love with? Something that I have had to push aside for months now and something I don't like to talk about.  Whom shall I fear?

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?


God is so powerful and has been a big part of my life, since I was a kid.  He has never left me.  He has pulled me out of some very dark times.  He really thinks highly of me!  With all 3 of my kids I can tell you exactly the things that makes them special and what God has shown me through them.  I was 18 years old when Kelley and I found out that we were having Chelsea!  He was there that day filling us with peace and joy!  God was there the day we found out that Kayla had ADHD, the day we found out she had Dyslexia was also the day we found out that Adrian was coming to live with us! He was there! Minuets after getting the call about Adrian, I was setting in an office with 5 other women discussing Kayla's test results. I broke into tears.. God had me right there, right then! Those teachers were so great to me! God gave us children to raise up in His love, no mater our troubles or their troubles.  

I pray daily for Adrian's biological mother.  I want her to be active in his life.. I know she loves him.  I have had to live without my dad in my life for the past 5 years.  As an adult that has been hard.  I never want Adrian to feel the hole I feel.  I, as his momma, will protect him from anything that may put even a dent into his heart.  I know the feelings of not being accepted. Adrian is one of the best gifts to our family.  I just pray that he will always know and feel the love we have for him. To see him play with the girls is the happiest thing!  They are his sisters!  We did not understand the love we were getting into the day we brought him home.  2 weeks before that, the day I held him in my arms before we had even been asked to love this baby, I knew what I felt that day was something I will never forget.  It was the same feeling I had the day I held Chelsea and Kayla, I just couldn't tell anyone! Adrian was just a 17 pound baby! :)  

 

The day we first seen Adrian. Yes, I spell his name differently.

To Adrian's biological mother.  If you ever read this, I want you to know that God is with us.  He always is. Adrian is very much loved.  As you have said before that he is "YOUR" blessing, know that we can be blessings to more than one.  Adrian is very smart and very funny!  God has big plans for him.  He is doing wonderful and will always know of you. We ask nothing of Adrian, our job as parents and his family is to owe him everything. We pray for you daily and are so sorry for your circumstances.  We just have to keep learning what he is teaching us.  We are all in this world together. I love you dearly. We are in His hands! 

And two weeks ago!

Wonderfully Made

I praised you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that fully well. (Psalm 139:14 NIV)

 

1998, I graduated High School weighing what I weighed my 9th grade year... 130 was the magic number for me I guess. I never thought I was fat.. How could I when I was 5'8 and everyone around me made comments that would follow me till I was 30. "Your to Skinny", "Do you eat at all", "Are you anorexic", "If I had your body...", "some of us can't eat like you do"... Statements like this drove me to actually not like who I was.  People might as well called me ugly. I used to pray that God would let me have a butt and a chest!! :) Yes, I did.. 15 years later he gave them to me!

    Even after having 2 children my heaviest was 155. I still lived and breathed those comments. Being 5'8 I was right where I should of been. But I thought I was FAT.. I began giving up on the thought of me being pretty at all.. My Momma and Sister started taking me clothes shopping.. To this day they still do! When my girls were babies I was a stay at home mom, then I cleaned houses for the last 5 to 6 years. Until God moved us to Oklahoma, then I was back at home, trying to find myself in a mess of emotions as my walk with God was the best it has ever been, life seemed so evil around me. I was stuck in a hole that didn't make since, I was screaming.. God and my husband was my best friends.  The way it should be, but the world shouldn't of felt so dark.

    From May of 2012 to May of 2013 I gained 40 pounds. I have had to deal with a lot of emotions during this time. Not just from weight, but from the world of life!  I smoked from the age of 13 to May of 2012 (heavily at 16 and on).. almost 20 YEARS..... My husband and girls have been on me for the past 7 or more to quit.. I loved it.. I hated the smell, the way it made me unsociable, what it was doing to my health, and that I would let my husband and girls down every time I tried to quit and would fail (around 50 times). Smoking was the only time I felt I could relax.

     I have NEVER been over weight. I was happy I was gaining some, but when I hit 180 something happened.. I gave up. I thought well I will die smoking or fat, which one is going to be? So I had to choose FAT, my family would think even more less of me if I started smoking again. I was introduced to ACE (Appetite Control Energy) by my sister in April of this year, when I was my new heaviest at 195.. (I cry even writing that.)  Since then I have lost 34 of the 40 pounds I gained over this last year. Yay!

     It has been hard! For those of you who think that ACE was an easy way out, you my dear are so wrong!! I could take the easy way, but what would be the point if I didn't learn from what God has put me through.  ACE helps to control those moments that you eat 2 plates of fat as you are licking your fingers as it is turning into FAT.. ACE gives me the energy as, yet again, a stay at home mom. I can walk 3 miles without dieing.  I can do 120 sit ups like nothing now!! I can go for a piece of celery instead of a candy bar and feel that satisfaction! I am very thankful for ACE for cleaning my mind! The same I am thankful for those nicorettes that let me break that addiction that was killing me too. No matter how I do things, If I am making progress I am a better person for trying!

     Today, I am 6 pounds from where I was a year ago! I feel so happy about my loss, yet so invisible. My self esteem is probably the lowest it has ever been.  I DO NOT feel pretty. I DO NOT feel worthy. I DO NOT feel attractive. You can say all you want that it doesn't matter what others thinks of you, but oh how wrong.. I think the world of how my husband and those around me sees me. I will never say again like I did when I smoked or when I weighed almost 200 pounds "you either like me or you don't"??? How would that ever make a better me? God is working on me about this, I just wished he would hurry up! :)

     Everyone around me is losing weight too! We have so many family and friends on the same journey. The "your not worthy" comes to play when the comments around me are "You look beautiful", "You look amazing", "Good job", "I'm proud of you"... yet I do not feel any are directed to me, even though some have been. I know that this past year I have been mainly at home and not out around people much, so my gain wasn't in peoples face my whole life and everyone knows me as the "skinny April", so therefor the praise isn't as strong. 

     You maybe reading this and think of how selfish and jealous I may seem, because I feel that too. My love language is Words of Affirmation. I take words personally. I wished I could change it, I so do. It isn't so much what others think, it is what they say! 

    Not feeling worthy or accepted is such an obstacle from keeping me from being who God wants me to be. About 3 years ago a friend came up to me at Church and told me that she felt that God wanted me to know that I was wonderfully and fearfully made. "Ok? Like whatever that meant!" :) This past year, I have held on to that scripture! I hear it during my worship time, I hear it at the doctor office, I hear it doing laundry!! :) 

I praised you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that fully well. (Psalm 139:14 NIV)

So what to do with that??? PRAISE!!  I need to praise him! Without God I would of never of had my husband, without God I wouldn't of had my children, without God I would still be smoking, without God I would be stuck in an unhealthy body. I am not who I am, I am who God made me to be! Every inch of my life I will praise him! Not for just the greatness, but for those unanswered prayers and for the answered ones! Thanks for the Butt and the Chest, and thanks for knowing they wasn't meant for me, God! Fill my cup!

    

Horton Hears a "WHAT"?

Some days I feel like screaming.. I feel that I don't know how I can ever get through this. I battling feelings of despair and confusion.  Then I have to snap back, not to reality; that is very much it, but to the greatness that our God has given us! His promise!

This morning I found myself wishing I was a "Who" on Horton's speck, as I was watching it with my kids. I posted on facebook how I wished that and a friend posted "But I am a "Who". When all in reality, I am just that, a "Who", just on God's speck!  God carries us every minute of our day.  He is my Horton!

I am not living in the past by bring up our past two years, but it is apart of our testimony today!  More details are in previous blogs, but in a nut shell: My husband (Kelley) was laid off July 2011, we moved to Oklahoma in November, we were forced to move back to Texas 9 months later.  Our dream was shattered. I am about adventure.  Our family has been in what seems to be a hole for a couple of years.  We prayed, asking God to please show us what to do, like we hear so many say "He has done for them and was very clear as to what to do".  We asked God in February 2011, when we heard he may lose his job that if that is true than we will take that as He was opening a new chapter and we were to move on, Red River New Mexico was our first choice, but all of the doors were opened to Oklahoma.. So we said "Ok God, lets do this!" But after 9 months and having to move back was really hard for us to think about "What? But you sent us there??" The week we were having to come back was our vacation week... So we moved back and the next day we went on vacation! Had a great time and were very blessed to get that time with my husbands family! A week back home and Kelley was given a job from our friends until he could find something better!

Fast forward another year.... With working 8-5 every day, looking for another job was impossible.  So online applications became my husbands new hobby.. :( boo... June 2013 He decided it was time to find a career he so desperately needs.. So we are without a career and on the search! Jobs are a thing of the past! It is time to find that place he can grow old in! Just like what he had, where he spent the past 12 years at!

It has been 2 weeks since an interview and it is so hard to wait.. People say be still and know He is God! We know that with everything in us He is God! We will not be still and know that man, is not... God has taken such good care of us, man has not. It is hard to pick what, when, where, and how life should be when man controls so much.  God is in control, but I feel we as man, have messed everything up and have had to go down Gods second choice.

But you are not alone. In the midst of unspeakable sorrow God is with you. Even if you do not feel Him near, God is there. He promises to never leave you alone. Therefore, wherever you are, God is. He is with you before, during, and after "the storm," never losing sight of you, or your suffering. Even as you ponder how you will begin picking up the pieces of your life, God is there … loving you beyond understanding, holding you up, and making a way where it seems there is no way. Reach out for Him today. He is a very present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1). 

After moving back into our house, we have had to replace the hot water heater, had termite problems, had AC unites go out, had a FIRE, received a baby, had to replace our roof, and all with an income that was government assistant approved, yet with out it's help. That my friends is how I know we are not alone!

Our family lived in a Hotel for 3 weeks after our fire. Man cheated us. God fed us! When I say this has been the loneliest times of our lives, it has been. From man. We do not have best friends that we share our lives with. Why? I don't know.. Don't feel this is not feeling loved by the friends we do have. We feel that very much!  We have friends that we see at the store, He has his friends, I have mine, and friends we have from Church.  But us as a couple do not have a married couple that we would call "OUR" best friends.. those that we have over for a BBQ, go on vacation with, and that our kids feel their kids are brother and sisters with.  There is a whole in my heart for that.  Being away from my family has been the hardest thing I've had to deal with.  I have always lived close to at least one of them. My sister used to be my best friend. No one can every replace that.  Nothing like acting stupid with your sister on a daily basis! Someone to tell me not to wear that dress, or that I need to get out and go get a coke with.  I miss her, so much.

God has became so much to me. Without Him life would even be crazier than it is!! Every time we think the "Storm" has passed, we get reminders for some reason, that we are still very much in the middle of it. It does bring comfort to me knowing that God knows! He knows where, when, why, and how! We are his "WHO'S"!

 Psalm 139:7-10 says, "I can never be lost to Your Spirit! I can never get away from my God! If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, You are there. If I ride the morning winds to the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, Your strength will support me"

Living the life, but searching for His dream! 

Heart Wide Open

  God does have great plans for our life! God's will, first and foremost, is that we have a relationship with Him through His son, Jesus Christ.  God wants us to be Christ's disciples.  The Bible will help us to know God's will.  God promises to give us wisdom if we just ask Him in prayer, believing that He will give it.  We should listen to the advice of godly men and women that God has placed in our lives. God has given each of us gifts and abilities to use in His service. The Bible says that there is a peace that comes when we are pleasing God with our lives.  We should trust God in faith that He will accomplish His will in our lives.

Humm wonder what this blog is about? 

I will not reflect on the past two years.. I was told not to analyze things and just live one day at a time.. We've been doing just that.. How do we find out what God's will for our lives are if  EVERY door we think could be opening is closed.. Not even just closed, but closed with insults. I put a scripture in 7 different places around our house today.

  

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

I want this prayer to become who the "Dewey's" are. 

We believe God has a plan. He has too, life would be pointless. We are our happiest when we are working within a Church. It is very important to Kelley and I to volunteer, to give our support for God. We even bring it out on the streets! Gods support should not be left in a building! The Bible is the only thing that keeps us going!! We ask for advice from godly men and women! (I have learned godly means being humble as well as faithful)  It is important to us to be taught. God has given both of us great gifts and we know them! Now the last two... The Bible says that there is a peace that comes when we are pleasing God with our lives. We should trust God in faith that He will accomplish His will in our lives. These two bring me to tears.. to think that we do not know what God wants us to do with our lives because we are not pleasing God with our lives... Trust.. humm faith is all we have! Trust.. I am stuck on this one.. It seems that this subject "will for our life" has been stuck.. To hear other say "I believe this is why.... (for our lives)" or "Pray about things". (uhhh hello, prayer is what gives us hope). "Maybe you should..."  "Have you....."  Yes, yes, and yes... We are not perfect people, but we try to better ourselves with all that we feel God shows us. 

It is very discouraging when the world around you is in a better place than you. I held on to "GOD HEARS US" for the past two years.. But I am at the end of the rope starting to wonder.  My most favorite place to be is in God's presence.  I have said before and will say it again.. We need to be very careful how we give advise. Christians hurt others so easily not knowing. We have to be careful of discouraging words.

I posted a blog in January 2012 called "Just Gotta Have Faith" http://dewey-life.blogspot.com/2012/01/just-gotta-have-faith.html

 It is a hard blog for me to read without it taking me back to the feelings I had when I wrote it.  

At this time of our life we had moved to Duncan, Ok and were WAITING on God to open doors for a job in OKC. In that blog I posted "I have to be faithful in order to be joyful and triumphant!" Today I find myself re saying those words. Our bedroom caught on fire in the attic last month..  I could hear this saying over and over.. I was joyful and I wanted to be triumphant. We had to stay in a Hotel for 2 weeks.. Back and fourth we went with all 3 kids, daily.. I was grateful!! Still very much am! I keep saying it is just another dip in the road.. Because it seems we have been in the desert for a while now. 

Today with my heart wide open, I just ask God,  fill us with joy and peace as we TRUST in You, so that You may overflow us with hope! Just as we wrote on the walls behind our sheet rock in our new bedroom, set a fire within US! We are still here God, WAITING! I give you praise for not just handing us the keys, but for the lessons you have sent. For I know it will make us better one day. Amen

Dear Baby,

I have so much to catch up on with this blog, so... I will highlight the past year and write about it as it comes!

1)  Had a failed contract on our house in Texas.
2)  Moved back into that house in Texas.
3)  Life is different, back in Pampa, Texas. But yet exactly the same. :(
4)  4 months after being back we were given Legal Guardianship of a baby boy!
5)  This old momma is trying to get the hang of it all over again after 10 years! :)

Ok Of course I want to start this blog with the happiest thing!! So go down to #4! A couple of months ago there was talk that we might be taking care of a baby boy. The mother said she would not sign over guardianship, so we said no.  If we were taking care of him we wanted to make sure we could 100%, do just that! So the day before Thanksgiving my sister and her husband got a call that the mother had left 4 month old twin boys and a 4 year old blind, autistic girl with a neighbor (who had CPS cases against them) as she was sent to prison for drugs. So my Brother in-law went and picked them all 3 up! 3 weeks later we were asked to take care of one of the babies.  The mother has since signed over guardianship to my sister and I for the boys. We are in the process of getting that filed, then adoption will be next.

Our babies name is Adrian! Will be Adrian Scott Dewey! He is the happiest baby!  Instead of crying he screams!! hahaha He has changed so much since we've got him! He was the twin who would set back and watch Carter, (brother).  Today this baby has blossomed and loves exploring! He is just now realizing that he controls those hands and feet!  He will be 6 months old next week!! We have had him a month now and are in love.  He is in love with us I think as much as we are with him! It is amazing at the motherly bond I have with him! I have felt it from the call "Can you take him?" I haven't been able to work since we have had him, but plan to soon!  So during the days it is just him and I!  I love it at 3:00 when we pick up the girls! He lights up and laughs getting so excited when sisters get into the car!  At 5:00 when Daddy gets home, I can say Daddy is home before Kelley even walks in the door and Adrian is screaming! It touches my heart so much!

It hurts me to think about this baby's life with out grandparents, two sisters and a daddy.  His life has been changed for the good with just those things!! He is so loved! I think about his biological mother and get sick. The condition of these children when my brother in law picked them up was so overwhelming that no one wanted to even hold them till they were bathed. The boys have skin problems due to poor hygiene and it is a daily battle taking care of his condition, still for us. Thinking about the mother sets a flame off inside of me. These past few days have been awful thinking about it..

My biological father (who I have not talked to in years) has been in the hospital (an hour away) for a week and had heart surgery yesterday.  We do not talk and I have no plans on it.  I was told that if we (10-15 of his children) even show up at his funeral one day that we will be escorted away? First of all just like my baby boys biological mother, HOW CAN YOU HAVE CHILDREN AND NOT LOVE THEM?  Saying that is not having children to have someone to LOVE YOU, but for you to LOVE THEM... Putting them before ANY FAMILY, DRINK, DRUG, WOMAN, OR MAN.  Hearing about it from someone who had to see it on facebook that he was in such state, has brought me more anger to fight for my baby boy. Adrian is a Dewey, he is our son.. We will fight for him as long as it takes.  I didn't even give birth to him.  God took care of that kind of bound before we even walked him into our home.

Dear Adrian,
     I have had a hole in my heart for the past 5 years.  I have felt this overwhelming desire that I was to mother a son. I tried filling that hole and nothing worked.. It was like putting icing on a doughnut. The sweetness just fell right through the center.  The first day I held you I felt this connection.  It wasn't a dream or a fairy tale, it was so different.  I had to control myself and keep those feeling to myself, because I was not asked to take care of you just yet. 

    A week or two went by and we were asked.. Daddy and I were so excited to be welcoming you to our family!  (I am losing my train of thought right now, because you are upset in the swing, which you DO NOT like!) My commitment to you is that you will always know me as you Momma and you know Kelley as Daddy, we love you no mater what you do in life.  We pray over you, that you are in Gods Gracious hands and that protection be over you as you succeed in life.  We will try our hardest, the same as we have with Chelsea and Kayla, to do our best at raising you to love! Love is the most important thing in life and if you have it, no mater what life throws at you, you will walk by faith and not by sight! Faith is believing and our goal as parents is to help you to always believe. 

    God is already into our tomorrow!
Matthew 6:25-27  “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
     Jesus doesn’t mean that we’re not to plan ahead or do nothing about our future. Rather, he’s saying simply, “Don’t be anxious or troubled about tomorrow.” This has been my hope from day one of knowing you were becoming our son.  I have faith that this is true!  My mother carried my faith for a while when life was so hard for me.  Know I will carry yours too.  I write this so that you will some day read how much we love you!  Welcome home baby boy!  I set and watch you swinging nice and calm now, with tears rolling down my face, because of the joy you hold.  You are a world changer the same as your two big sisters Chelsea and Kayla who love you to the moon and back.

   Here is a special part of a book that my Momma read to me as a child, that I will soon get you to share with you like I have with Chelsea and Kayla.

 I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

With a complete heart now, I love you,
Your Momma