Home ALONE!

Click to hear: Steven Curtis Chapman-Do Everything (song) 

Luke 5:16 “..but Jesus often slipped away to be alone so he could pray.”

 When Jesus was in the desert for 40 days, He ate nothing... he was hungry, and tempted by the Devil.  The Devil said "tell this stone to become bread." Jesus said "Man can not live on bread alone." The Devil said "If you worship me you can become the King of all Kingdoms." The Devil tested Jesus asking Him "If you are the son of God..." Jesus knew to not test God.  He knew the Spirit of the Lord was upon Him!  Jesus went on his way and was rejected in Nazareth.  He went on spoke a evil spirit out of a man. He healed many people. He preached the good news! He made disciples out of Simon and his partners, James and John, the sons of Zebedee. Jesus said to Simon, after he had listened to him about how and where to fish,  "Don't be afraid; from now on you will be catching people." Jesus went on and healed another man of a skin disease. He wanted no glory for it.  He told the man "Don't tell anyone, but go get examined and show everyone".  Jesus did what next?? He did not stand on a hill side, showing his gratefulness as everyone started gathering to see this healer.  He left and went somewhere ALONE to pray!!

Today I am HOME ALONE!! Last week I thought YES!!! I can get things done, with Kelley at work and the girls off to school!! Well I have spent two hours, just me and God!! And the cats and dog of course!! I realized, I AM NEVER ALONE!! And I am so happy for that!!  People say that all the time, I have heard it all my life.  When I want ALONE time, I get it and.... I am wrapped up in His word to much to want to do anything!! :)  God has called me to be a Wife and a Mother.. That was my dream from when I was a child! I wanted to be married and have two kids.. well guess what?? To no surprise that is what He gave me!  I also wanted to live on a farm.. have cows in my back yard, little picked fenced porch,  a garden, trees everywhere..  (Still could happen, we have no strings tying us down to anything material, God has shown us that He is in control!)  What would I do if I did not have God during my ALONE times?  I would be a mess in stress, such as "No one helps me keep this house clean, why do I always have to do laundry, why can't someone else cook, why O' why????"  I have complained A LOT about those stupid little things before in the past. But this morning, my eyes have been opened to, if I do not start the day off with my ALONE time in prayer, I will ask WHY O' WHY all the time.. How miserable is that?  Very!! I am to do EVERYTHING I do unto the GLORY of the Lord!!

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly as though you were working for your real master and not merely for humans.
This is mine!!! Get your own.. haha!! This scripture hit me hard this morning!! 

Jesus did good things and still does, how?  I don't think that it was just because he was the chosen one, it was because we are all created in Him.. Jesus was faithful and He spent His time in prayer and wanted God to be glorified! WE can all do good things!!!

  Matthew 14:13-14
“When Jesus heard what had happened to John, he left in a boat and went to a lonely place by himself. But the crowds heard about it and followed him on foot from the towns. When he arrived, he saw a great crowd waiting. He felt sorry for them and healed those who were sick.” 

Each morning the girls and I pray in the car before school.  I love it!  That is one of my very favorite times of my day!  This morning after I dropped them off, all of this hit me.. Nothing like driving home and getting hit in the face over and over.. I was able to stay focused on the road, but do not remember any driving!! :)  I must tell our girls how important it is to start each day with this.. I want it to become a habit for them, with them never over looking it.  I want to show them how Jesus always prayed.. How important for us all to have our ALONE time to do such a thing.  My Momma always prayed.. We were taught to pray.. Praise him and ask for forgiveness! Always!!  Still as adults, we have a praise or trouble we call Momma!!  I want my girls to live that! To know that whatever comes their way in life, that the Spirit of the Lord is upon them, always!!! To be faithful enough to know temptation and to never test God! To always "walk by faith, and not by site!" And to always, always give Him the Glory!!

So I can thank Him this morning for my so called ALONE time as He called me closer to Him! I am never ALONE, this I know!! He loves me for always!  I was made to be a wife and a momma!  Any time before that is with Him!!  Love you!

BLOOM and grow!

Lord of all the earth
We shout Your Name, shout Your Name
Filling up the skies
With endless praise, endless praise
Yahweh, Yahweh
We love to shout Your Name, Oh Lord

There is no one like our God
We will praise You, praise You
There's no one like our God
We will sing, we will sing (X2)
There is no one like our God
We will praise You, praise You
Jesus, You are God, we will say

 Psalms 149:3

 ³ Praise his name with dancing;
      play drums and harps in praise of him.

Music is just a gift and the most spiritual drawing thing to me.  Just the other day I heard a song on the radio and it put me right back into the place I was when the song was a hit.  I had the same feelings come back to me when I heard it, as the day I use to listen to it.  When I hear Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me", it takes me back to singing into a hair brush with my Momma at 15 years old! :) The Dixie Chicks? When Kelley and I first started dating! "The Old Rugged Cross", singing in Church as a little girl! 

Music is one of God's special gifts He gives! This morning I heard "At Your Name", tears feel as it took me back to one, being back in Texas worshiping with our Church family at Trinity Fellowship and two, it took me back to the day we pulled out of Pampa, moving to Oklahoma.  Chelsea and I were following the U haul, so for miles all we seen was RENT ME $29.99 (yeah, right)! This song came on and I started crying so heavy, Chelsea kept asking me if I was ok.  I kept telling her yes, God is just so darn awesome, but the tears kept flowing.. And she could feel the joy and tears started flowing down her face, as we both just screamed YAHWEH, YAHWEH!  We had been in prayer for this move for the past 8 months, with the dream for the past couple of years and it was happening, not knowing where we were really going, what we were going to do, just following what God had opened up, and this song said it all! There is no one like our God We will praise You! With endless praise, endless praise Yahweh, Yahweh We love to shout Your Name, Oh Lord! God was doing it!  It was out of our hands and we were on the road!  We gave the dream of moving to God months before, like in February 2011 when we found out Kelley could possible lose his job in July.  So onto the next step in life where God wanted us to go. 

I went on a Walk to Emmaus in 2005 and parts of one of the songs of blessings read this:
Thank you God, for this day,
Bless all those who greet it.
May your love glow with peace,
May your love go forth from us.
Friendship and peace may they bloom and grow,
Bloom and grow forever.
Bless our friends, bless our work
Bless each of us forever. 
This song takes me back to swaying back and forth and yelling BLOOM!! :)  

Today the sun is shinning, I just heard a goose coming from behind my house, I am ready to plant new flowers, I put weed and feed out on the lawn last night!! This reminds me to BLOOM AND GROW! Bloom where I am planted!  

1 Corinthians 3:7
 ⁷ The one who plants and the one who waters really do not matter. It is God who matters, because he makes the plant grow.

  Just like this picture of this Rose Moss, that I am planting today by the way..  It is called Grandma's flower to me!  My grandma always had a big barrel filled with rose moss at her door.  I make sure and have some each year!  This seed planted it's self in a bed of bricks!! But God knows it's beauty and made it to grow! That is what He intended to do with this flower, make it grow anywhere, just like He did us!  This morning I pray God lets my light shine, so I can BLOOM AND GROW! I give Him praise for His gift of music to speak to my soul on a daily bases! 


"Create in me a clean heart, O God;
and renew a right spirit within me."   Psalm 51:10

  God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

The Power of Blessings

Act. 27:21-25 
 ^21-22With our appetite for both food and life long gone, Paul took his place in our midst and said, "Friends, you really should have listened to me back in Crete. We could have avoided all this trouble and trial. But there's no need to dwell on that now. From now on, things are looking up! I can assure you that they'll not be a single drowning among us, although I can't say as much for the ship—the ship itself is doomed.
 ^23-26"Last night God's angel stood at my side, an angel of this God I serve, saying to me, 'Don't give up, Paul. You're going to stand before Caesar yet—and everyone sailing with you is also going to make it.' So, dear friends, take heart. I believe God will do exactly what he told me. But we're going to shipwreck on some island or other."


Paul knew God was with him.   We have been encouraged knowing that we do not know how long the storm will take, but that God is with us!  Paul knew he belonged to God.  Every day I remind myself that I belong to God as a baby to a daddy, as a wife to a groom, as a sheep to a Shepherd.  God knows you will make it, He is not frustrated in you.  He isn't doubting you. God is not worried.  IF GOD ISN'T, THAN NEITHER SHOULD YOU!! 

In Act. 27:25 Paul says " I believe God will do exactly what he told me."  He has trust in God, he didn't know when or how, but he knew God did!  I keep reminding myself of this.  Yesterday, God sent HOPE to us, more than we have received in a while.  Why now?  Why so long?  Because to me letting go and letting God has been my biggest struggle.   I have let go! We have tried to figure out things for the past 3 months, those things we gave to God a few weeks ago.  There just isn't away for us to take care of those problems.. There isn't.. We have never relied on God with such big things in our life. Shame on us.  To me it seems lazy and careless for someone to say I am not worried, God is taking care of us.  I have heard people say that and been like WHAT?? Crazy people, you have to help yourself!! Well I am learning you can't help yourself other than the way you handle it.  Nothing I can do can help us in the mess we are in.. NOTHING.. I can help it, but I can't fix it.  Neither can Kelley.  I am telling you living one day at a time has changed my life!  Like a homeless man who is just living for today, so am I.  This is where I feel the word judged.. why? Because I have judged those who have FROG (Fully Relied On God).  I ask for forgiveness this morning as I am embarrassed of how I have reacted to others in my life.  I thank God for those people He has put in my life now, as I look back at their stories!

Yesterday we did our taxes, YUCK.. But the lady who did them was amazing!  She was so fun to work with!  We was in and out in less than an hour!  She gave us great news!  We have financial ways coming!!  So pumped up about that, as the stress left our body's, we get home and what do you know there is money in our mail box, in two different envelopes!  THEN, my sister goes to the Dr. and they tell her that her cancer is not in her blood!! AWESOME!!  It doesn't matter the problem, God is in control! 

Our blessings yesterday gave us HOPE for today!  God knows our desires and maybe that is why we are not succeeding in what we think today should be..  We have what we need.  I have wanted to be a stay at home mom for a couple of years now.  This last year I missed things with my girls at school, because I was cleaning someones house?? What in the world??  This is where it comes into play for me that I will not conform the ways of this world.  I want us to be able to pay our bills, eat, and to have a little to enjoy time with each other and with those we love and to be able to help those God puts in our path like some have helped us.. that is it!! We don't care to be rich, we just want to know things are taking care of.  I will start school in March, then what?  Well God must have great things since I do not have a job today!  God knows that March is in one month!!!  I stress because I don't have a job today and am not helping financially.  But I know God KNOWS why!!  Once I start in March, I will be taking more classes for the next two years as I am working as a Physical Therapy Tech to become an Assistant.  So thank you God for giving me this 3-4 month break, to enjoy my family and to be growing in you more for the next step in my life, if that is what you are doing!  I know the road you have ahead of me is going to be trying, but I know that You are the power of all the blessings in our lives!

God works for those who love Him!  It does not matter the problem... God is in control every minute of my life!  He knows what is best for my husband, my self, and for my children!

 In this song "My Own Little World" Matthew West say's it best for my heart today!


What if there’s a bigger picture?
What if I’m missing out?
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now?
Outside my own little world oooh

What is wrong today, will be a BLESSING tomorrow, if you just trust in God so He can show His POWER!  I trust in God today more than ever in my life.  All He is doing is making me fall in love with Him more!   By you BLESSING someone around you, you are giving HOPE to them.  I want to be a BLESSING!

All Consuming Fire - Melissa Edwards CLICK FOR SONG!

Ashes For Beauty

At The Foot Of The Cross, where Grace And Suffering Meet. You Have Shown Me Your Love. Through the Judgment You received and You've Won My Heart, yes You've Won My Heart. Now I Cantrade These Ashes In For Beauty and Wear Forgiveness Like A Crown, coming To Kiss The Feet Of Mercy I Lay Every Burden Down at The Foot Of The Cross.  AS I WRITE THIS I WANT THIS TO BE MY REMINDER OF HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO PRAISE HIM.  TO ALWAYS KEEP THIS GARMENT ON.    Today as I hear that song it means so much to me.  When you are flat on the floor with your troubles coming up out of you and away from you as you are asking for Gods touch, something happens.  You become beautiful in Him.  I want to have Joy again.. I want to be happy.  I am learning the more I praise Him, the happier I become!  I have this new habit right now, I speak God's Gracious hands on everyone and everything around me.  I stopped asking for specific things.  I ask His Gracious hands my husband, our children, our finances, and myself.  I ask that of their schools, of our travels, of our extended families, I ask that of Him all day long.. I feel that I am letting His will be done and not mine by asking that.  I know the things we are going through is apart of his plan!  I can't wait to be in the moment of "awe", when we understand some things, but for now I stand excited and not worrying about tomorrow.

Matthew 6:34  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

The Devil wants to turn your thoughts to ashes.  So you turn negative.  He wants to bring you sorrow.  The word of God will come to you and you will see things differently.  HE WILL TURN THOSE ASHES INTO BEAUTY!  I feel I was getting so negative, because of all of the ash we have became.  The word of God is my best friend these days.  I am loving the studies, that I have had to do through this past year.  I say had, because I know I will never be good at handling things in life without it.  If there is a cheat sheet I want it, and that is what His word has been to me!
People don't really like to clean out their fireplace, because the ash get all over you and they are yucky.  GET RID OF THEM!  I don't want them on me.  I want to be someone someday.. If I am covered in ash and doing nothing about them myself, no one is going to come clean me off.Heaviness means to dim the light.  He wants to darken your light with God.  YOU HAVE TO PUT THE GARMENT OF PRAISE ON!You are going to have to TAKE the garment and put it on yourself!  He is not going to put it on you.  YOU have to!!  I did pray over this past year for God to bring me Joy.  When I think about it I want to slap myself.  First of all, we have to realize we NEED Jesus.   Happiness depends on HAPPENINGS, but joy depends on JESUS.Some times we don't realize who has our back. Adore Him because He is Christ the Lord and He will make us triumphant! Isaiah 9:6-7 We have to realize we need Jesus! Matthew 9:12-13 Praise and worship is a COMMAND!  FEAR NOT  Pray and worship Him.  Today I thank Him for the freedom of worship! 
 

Let it Be Carried Along By the Wind!

Yesterday and today have been very strange for me.  I am not sure what I feel.  I kinda am lost as to what is happening to me and around me lately.  My sister (Christy) had a spot on her face removed Monday (3 days ago).  The Dr. called her yesterday to let her know it was cancerous.  When I got the call from my Momma, the big sister kicked in and I wanted to run to her house.  I have always felt the need to take the pain away from my sister and brother.  I have this motherly feel, like I should be able to fix their problems.  As I waited for my sister to call, to tell me herself, I cried and was trying to be cool and calm for when she did call.  I was just that, but inside I was the mess I usually am. 

Our family has been through so much this year.  Each of us has had our own ups and downs.  So tonight I set and my mind wonders.  When we pray, should we be asking for direct things? I know the bible says "ask and you shall receive"  "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." ( Matthew 7:7)  But I have asked, seeked, and knocked...  So loud and so hard... I feel God doesn't hear me.  I know he does and that he is drawing me closer to him, but it hurts.  It really hurts.  God knows the plan for our lives, so should we ask?  See my mind goes that way, then it says stop asking and thank Him for his Gracious Hands that are on us and on everything we have on this Earth.  He will not put us in the path of something that will change our destiny that He has already planned out.  Or at least I don't think He would.  So why ask to change it?


Hope is so far in between the good and bad days for us lately.  What are we doing wrong in His eyes?  What am I doing wrong?  I told myself I was going to stop trying to figure out all of this mess in me and keep living one day at a time like He has told me to. “Don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time” (Matthew 6:34).

For Christmas I got this cross from my parents.  It has all of this spiritual quotes coming out of it.  This is how I feel every day.. Like I am standing here and I have a hundred Godly quotes floating around me.  It is exhausting not knowing which one to pick from to live by..    Walk by faith, not by sight. (sight is that bills are due, past due and the money isn't there.)  How can I walk by faith when it is proven to not be taken care of?  I have been looking for a job for over a month now.. sight is that it is not there for me.  Kelley has been told he would be moved to days where he can make more... sight is, he is still on nights.  I am just so confused.. We walked by faith moving to Oklahoma.  We wasn't making it in Texas , because Kelley lost his job and unemployment was a joke, so it wouldn't of mattered if we stayed or not.  So saying we should of stayed is just as stupid as saying we should of left.  I know God is taking care of us, we haven't went without food or a warm house.  It is just emotionally draining not having enough for the world.  We are doing the best we can. I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5

After yesterday finding this out about my sister, I do not want advice from people.. That may sound rude, but I WANT SCRIPTURES.. I want to hear from God.  Some of the things people have said to Kelley and I have hurt us.  I am taking all these hurts as a lesson from God because I have said these things to others thinking I was helping, when really I was putting salt on others wounds.  This past year I have held my Bible as the only way through this, some may question me and judge, that is ok, I am sure God has a plan just for you.  For me I will keep searching this book I have learned to love.  To me scriptures tell me this is what we should of done.  We would not of moved if we did not feel God was behind it.  Sometimes you face difficulty, not because your doing something wrong, but because your doing something right.

 We have Prayed (asked), Search for His words (seeked),  Believed (knocked), and Walked by faith. We are not anchored to this world, so God is going to take us which ever way he wants to blow the wind!  And I am believing that His Gracious hands are on my sister as well as our family. Acts 27:15 It hit the ship, and since it was impossible to keep the ship headed into the wind, we gave up trying and let it be carried along by the wind.

The Past is the PAST!! So be it!

In September 2005, God freed me of past hurts that I had held onto in secret. One of those hurts that only a handful of people knows about, but life changing for yourself.  I met the best sister that weekend!  I remember when God freed me I was setting next to her and I said "did you feel that? I feel so free!"  Her and her husband became someone who I thanked God for regularly.  I love and miss her so much! Crazy red head! :)  That weekend I learned that looking back and saying I should of, why didn't I, what if.. gets you no where to where God wants you to be TODAY! As my Momma says "Can you change it? NO.. Then why waste your time on it?"  We can't look back and dwell on poor us we shouldn't of, what if... We can't change what we did or what happen to us.

Job 6:7  Everything in me is repulsed by it-it makes me sick. Pressed Past the Limits
We can change this moment! I learned that what happen to me became a message!  I used it in full force for a couple of years when I was actively doing what I love, working with teens!  The past is put in our lives as a learning tool!  We are to learn from it, so we know that split in the road in the future, to share how God helped us through it, not how miserable we were and how they can feel good if they just crawl in a hole.  Our mess is our message, so how you handle your mess is important!

Proverbs 18:18 You may have to draw straws when faced with a tough decision.

Now should we have? YES, we should have!  Since February of last year we have felt God was telling us there was more to what we knew..  We both felt this longing to better ourselves for our family!  We have questioned since our move should we of done this? But today I ask why? Why even waste our thoughts on what Satin wants us to dwell on.  Today I woke up with the Armor of God and said YES!!! We are right where God wants us!  Our family has grown closer to God through this door that was opened for us!  We may be financially struggling, but yes I said an opened door!  If God didn't open it we would not be here.  God drew us closer to Him through this door!  Just where I have wanted to be for a long time!  When people say get on your knees and cry out, I always thought ok what good does that do?  It is FREEING! When i fall to my knees I feel like everything bad is coming up out of me.  I have learned to humble my self, more than just being humble enough to feed the homeless.  I have grown and know that the growing NEVER STOPS!

Our girls have struggled spiritually since our move.  We had a great Church in Pampa and they both learned the emotional connection you have with God and Jesus during worship and study.  We have been attending a Church here in town since we have been here, but there is just something missing.. Is it that Church just don't know what they are doing? Or is it we don't?  They do not have a strong youth program for Chelsea and have NO program for Kayla on Wednesday nights. Chelsea is a very strong spiritual child.  She doesn't feel that this youth group are emotionally attached to study and worship like she knows they should.  I have taught my children what a second mother to me once said.  "You close your eyes and forget those around you, it is just you with God on that stage!  You worship God the way you feel to do so."  This Wednesday she come home and told me that during worship no one worshiped but the older kids.  She said "I closed my eyes got into my spot and worshiped! I even wanted to jump up and down, but I held back."  So this open the door for me to share my worship experiences and how worship is not about anyone around you, it is about YOU AND GOD! Others will not look at you like "Oh my gosh, look at her I can not believe she is jumping up and down raising her hands." They look at you and it softens their heart and God might be working on them, they could be feeling their heart race thinking I wished i knew Jesus like Chelsea does!  We maybe the only Jesus some sees. When we hold back we have worry around us.  Whether we are worried about who is around us, what they are doing, or about how much money we have.  GOD DID NOT MAKE US LIKE THAT!  My children are growing in the Lord as Kelley and I am, as we thought we were all just stuck.   

Hebrews 6:19 It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God

I get distracted because I have something happen first thing in the morning as simple as finding out I am almost out of coffee.. And the worry begins for the day.. What are we going to do? What if? Should we of? This is all about living one day at a time!  We can't  live for the what if's! We have to  live for the today!  Our family IS RIGHT WHERE WE ARE TO BE FOR TODAY!  God is our strength!  God finds us at the bottom and brings us back up!  We are in His hands and have so much to be thankful for!  If we had to walk this road we are on to draw closer to Him and this was apart of His plan for us,  than shame on us, and Thank You Jesus.  We are with Him TODAY!! And today, I can't wait for TOMORROW!!

Job 40:5 I've talked too much, way too much. I'm ready to shut up and listen." God's Second Set of Questions I Want Straight Answers

Job 42:4 You told me, 'Listen, and let me do the talking. Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.'5 I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand-from my own eyes and ears!6 I'm sorry-forgive me. I'll never do that again, I promise! I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor."

Job 42:12 God blessed Job's later life even more than his earlier life. He ended up with fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, one thousand teams of oxen, and one thousand donkeys.

Dear Restless Heart

I love this!! Dear restless heart, be still; don't fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know.  Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God's own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile.
Dear restless heart, be brave; don't moan and sorrow so,
He hath a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.
Dear restless heart, repose upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power.
Dear restless heart, be still! Don't struggle to be free;
God's life is in your life, from Him you may not flee; Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see. by Edith Willis Linn